#Reverb10 catch-up: 5 minutes & Friendship

December 15:  5 Minutes. Imagine you will completely lose your memory of 2010 in five minutes. Set an alarm for five minutes and capture the things you most want to remember about 2010. (Author: Patti Digh)

To be honest, 2010 wasn't a very memorable year for me.  I'm realizing this as I've been asked these questions for #reverb10 and I can't think of a lot to say.  Was it a bad year?  No.  There were some great times.  Was it a fantastic year?  Uh.....not really.  It was an "ehh...it was alright" year.  I've had better.  I've had much worse.

So, if I had 5 minutes before I lost my memory and could only remember stuff from 2010, it would be:

1.  The warmth on my skin and laughter in my heart when I spent a day at home in the lovely city of Richmond with Jim and my friends Scott and Ana at the newly opened Virginia Museum of Fine Arts, followed by more friends and laughter while eating pizza outside under the railway bridge later that evening.  It was a fantastic day.
2.  The day in August when I decided to start running determined to make some changes.
3.  The familiar and otherworldly sound of the last call to prayer for the day going up around the city of Sarajevo while watching an outdoor film at the Sarajevo Film Festival in late July.
4.  The smiles and time catching up with friends whom I had not seen in several years.
5.  The smell, sound and feel of sweet little Joseph crawling into my lap to tell me a story.

There were other things that were good that happened in 2010, undoubtedly, but these are the ones I would choose to remember.


December 16: Friendship. How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst? (Author: Martha Mihalick)

I feel like my friends are always changing me in one way or another, challenging me, encouraging me, giving a voice to my innermost thoughts.  I continue to be shaped by them and the experiences we have together.  My friends are my family (outside of Jim and the dogs, of course).  They are my support, my strength, the wind beneath my wings. (I had to say it)


So, it's difficult to pinpoint one friend and one thing.  However, I think for the purposes of this post and my blog here, I have to highlight my friend Sean, with whom I do not communicate as often as I should, who helped me early on in trying to get my head straight about this whole losing weight business.

He had never told me that he had lost a great deal of weight.  And in a blog post where I vented a lot of anger I was feeling, my friend Sean responded with the **PERFECT** email.  I sat there and read it and cried.  He was so right and it was exactly what I needed to hear, how I needed to hear it (expletives and all), and from someone I was able to hear it from (when I might not have paid attention to others). 

He said:

Firstly, when I got married I was a fat bastard by my standards, and those standards are the only ones that really matter. What you define as fat is what defines what is fat for you. Anyone else's definition can fuck right off. 

I began running every day, at first a pathetic few miles, then the distance grew. In the first few months I gained weight, which people assured me was muscle mass. But it was the shittiest thing ever in the history of ever. How the F am I running like 18 miles a week and GAINING WEIGHT.

Now I honestly don't read your blog enough to know what exactly you are doing, and that makes me a shit, but if you are working out, well then its mass, if not, FUCK IT. This is a marathon, a life choice that if you stick with, 1.2 lbs or whatever it is will matter little.

You have a huge set of balls for doing this. Muddle through it, keep your chin up and press on.

Hang in there, you are awesome and brave, and this is going to be a painful period for you. Literally teaching your tired and slovenly body how to be different, but you are strong and motivated!

I remember when I would go running, I would imagine all the Bourbon, and Cigars sort of coming out of me like some exorcism. Maybe visualize whatever comfort foods or drink you consume coming out of you into the ether.

Anyway, I have no idea why I decided to respond to this. Hope you still like me tomorrow.

Since Sean's email, I have kept his words to heart:  This is a marathon, a life choice, that in the end will overshadow all the small stuff that I think is difficult at this moment in time.  I think about those words at least a few times a week.  And I have no idea if Sean continues to read my blog or not - but if you see this, Sean, thank you.