Sunday, March 27, 2011

Weigh-in no. 30 - Sayonara 280s!!

weigh-in no. 30 (-4.4)

Last week:    284.2
This week:    279.8      
Loss of         -   4.4
Total Loss    - 47.2 lbs  

280s, I'll never miss ya!

About damn time.

I've worked my ass off in the gym this week (in comparison to previous weeks) and I did a total of 7.8 miles on the elliptical (not bad for someone who when I started could barely do 3 minutes or .15 mile) and swam twice (for swim class and then 20 lengths/.32 mile).

It was fantastic!

As such, this week I've felt skinnier, and given the loss now I understand why.  But even if I had've maintained (or God forbid, gained), I have to say I've been satisfied with what my body has been able to do, what achievements I have made and the progress that has taken place over these last 6+ months.  So I decided to take a picture of myself one morning when I was feeling particularly fit. The inner critic and Fat Jayme doesn't see the changes that I know are there. But whatever....they're being proven wrong and that's all that matters in the big scheme of things.  And my 4.4 loss this week kicks my inner critic's tail.

It's helped tremendously that the sun has been shining most of the week.  When I haven't been occupied elsewhere, I've taken the opportunity to sit outside in the sun.  It's not super-warm yet, but the warmth of the sun makes it bearable to sit outside and show a little skin.  I never really noticed my love for the sun until I moved to Northern Ireland.  Now, whenever it's out, I feel like I have to take advantage of it while I can.  So, I chose to go the optimistic route and break out the Chacos for the season (which I'll practically live in until September or October).  I've worn them 3 days this week and life is good again.  I am so much happier when my feet are able to see sunshine.

The pescatarian (eating no land animals) extravaganza over Lent is going really well.  I'm really quite surprised at how much I've not missed meat.  And I feel lighter and more digestively healthy, so I've been quite pleased with it so far.  Jim has been a little worried I'll continue down the path after Easter (what is it about men and meat??).  I have assured him that I will go back to eating meat - at least on occasion - but on the whole, this experience is doing what I hoped it would do and is breaking my habit of basing whatever I eat around some meat-product.  I'm also surprised that I haven't eaten more fish to compensate.  Instead, I'm finding great delight in the piles of fresh fruit and vegetables, nuts and beans I've got filling my countertops and cupboards.   I've not felt any ill-effects, as I wondered if it'd affect my workouts, so I think I'm doing ok with recovering protein from other sources.

So, more of the same, please!  Next week won't be as big of a loss since this week also included my body getting rid of the water weight gain I had last week (I think), but I shall keep on keepin' on! 

Questions for comment: 
How does the onset of spring affect you and your health?  How do your daily rhythms change with the change in seasons?  Any big goals coming up you need to knock out?

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Music to sweat by - vol. 2

So, I've discovered that the music I use for running and the music I use for the elliptical are a bit different.  The rhythms for running that I need are more punk beats - stuff that's a bit quicker, stuff that I would have pogo'd to when I was younger.  :o)

But for the elliptical, I need driving beats - stuff that's a little aggressive but overall steady and momentum-sustaining, stuff that makes me want to push.

It's different.  And that's probably the best way I can explain it.

So, perhaps I can share what I've been listening to over the past couple weeks.  These have been the best ones so far in my playlist and help me maintain the pace I currently have been doing at .1 mile/minute (10 minute miles).


Sunday, March 20, 2011

Weigh-in no. 29: The "I'm flippin' ready to be out of the 280s" edition

*language warning*

Right.  So weigh-in this morning was a kick in the tail.  Despite the fact that I've done everything right this week, I'm still registering a gain.  Bollocks.

Weigh-in no. 29 (+1.8)
 Last week:    282.4
This week:    284.2      
Gain of         +  1.8
Total Loss    - 42.8 lbs

For me to have legitimately gained 1.8 lbs, I would have needed to eat an additional 6,300 calories this week.  That's almost 1,000 calories more a day than the 2,050 it takes for me to maintain weight.  That's simply not possible.  I stayed within my caloric limit of 1400-1800 calories per day.  Although I'm going pescatarian (vegetarian that eats fish & seafood) for Lent, I'm not eating any more bread and carbs than I normally do.  I drank plenty of water this week.  I've had lots of fiber.  I'm truly stumped and feel a bit betrayed by my body.

So, the weight gain has to be related to water-weight or something like that.  I really have no idea.  But I know two things: 1) This gain hacks me off and 2) I'm freakin' ready to be out of the 280s.  I've been in this range of the 280s since mid-January.  I'm done.  They can just f*@% right off.


It's times like this that I totally understand people who give up and say, "what's the point?"  That's not me - I'm not giving up and I know this is just temporary - but it does have the potential to be demoralizing.

Oh well.  There's always next week.

In other news, spring has arrived in Northern Ireland.  YAY SPRING!!  When time changes next week, it'll be even better.  I saw my first big, fat bumblebee of the season yesterday and wild garlic is sprouting, so Jim and I went out foraging to get some of the leaves to make into pesto and add to salads, etc.  Jim'll take the majority of it in to use in the restaurant, but I'm excited about the possibilities here at home as well.  It's only around for about 3-4 weeks and is found in woodland areas, but it's so nice and a great reminder that spring is arriving.

So that's me, y'all.  Hacked off but determined to get out of these damn 280s.  And getting on with it.

Questions for comment: Have you felt betrayed by your body in your efforts to be healthy?  How do you deal with it?  What keeps you going when you feel your body isn't cooperating?

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Choosing Authenticity

I choose authenticity.

Authenticity is rooted in the value of integrity and the commitment 'to thine own self be true.'  
Being authentic requires honesty, openness, a willingness to learn and teach, 
and a welcoming attitude to new ideas and experiences.

You can't be authentic and try to be something that you're not; 
yet authenticity pushes us to be courageous and try new things.

It does not hide behind safe walls of identity or knowledge 
but embraces vulnerability and humility with grace and strength.

Brene Brown has written about this in her book The Gifts of Imperfection and on her blog, provides the image above and the badge I have on my site (on the right frame) and with it calls us to a 'whole-hearted' movement where she declares:

Wholehearted living is about engaging in our lives from a place of worthiness. It means cultivating the courage, compassion, and connection to wake up in the morning and think, No matter what gets done and how much is left undone; I am enough. It’s going to bed at night thinking, Yes, I am imperfect and vulnerable and sometimes afraid, but that doesn’t change the truth that I am also brave and worthy of love and belonging.
Over the past year, we've built an authenticity movement on the blog and I wanted to create a space to honor our work.  We need the momentum and energy of a movement. We need to be surrounded by other authenticity activists who are willing to be imperfect and real. We need to build a community of people who can straddle the truth that we are both afraid and brave (often at the same time).

Choosing authenticity is an act of resistance.

Choosing to live and love with our WholeHearts is an act of defiance.

You’re going to confuse, piss-off, and terrify lots of people – including yourself.  One minute you'll pray that the transformation ends, and the next minute you’ll pray that it never ends. 

I've made the commitment.  Have you?

What are some obstacles that stop us from choosing to be authentic?  What's scary about it?  What keeps us committed to it?

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Weigh-in no. 28

It's been a hectic week!  I had planned to post last week's weigh-in after I returned from the conference, but just never really got the chance to sit down and write it all out.  So, this week's weigh-in is 2 week's worth.

weigh-in no. 28 (-3.6)

2 weeks ago:    286.0
This week:       282.4      
Loss of             -  3.6
Total Loss       - 44.6 lbs

I'm back!!!!  The pause in loss I think was a combination of slightly plateauing and getting lazy with eating by not planning meals (particularly dinners) and just figuring stuff out once you realize you're hungry, which is never a good idea.

I also think my lenten decision to go toward a more plant-based diet and be pescatarian (vegetarian who eats eggs, fish & seafood) was a good one.  Lent started this week and, to be honest, so far it's been no problem at all.  We'll see how the remaining 35 days go but I think this will be a good move.  I'm enjoying having to think about new veggie recipes, eating more fish (living in Ireland has its perks in this regard!), and generally feeling better in the digestive department.

On a more personal note, while this past week was hectic, it's been laughter-filled.  My conference presentation wherein I was a respondent to the keynote address was an experience I'll never forget and will undoubtedly tell students later in life when they find themselves where I am now.  It went well - but note to self: when asked to be a main speaker at a conference held in the hallowed halls of the seat of Irish Catholicism, one may be advised to refrain from saying "crap" in one's address and to be aware of the seismic implications of referring to queer theology as a (legitimate) methodology and referring to one's female self as trained minister/clergy.  I think I may have gained the reputation on this isle of being a bit of a "loose cannon", but oh well.  I was pleased with what I did and my conference organizers were happy, so all is well.  :o)

And then last night, I went out to dinner with some of my closest friends here to Hill Street Brasserie (website to be revised) where my partner Jim is the new head chef.  And while I'm a bit partial, I have to say it was LOVELY.  Great friends, excellent food, tasty wine, fantastic service.  Perfect evening!  And after 1/2 a bottle of wine, a beer and a 3 course dinner, I still showed a 3.6 lb loss!  Score!

All being well, life returns to normal pace this coming week and I'll be a bit more present here.  Swimming class starts on Wednesday evening and it's back to regular schedule.

How's things been for you?  Is March turning out to be a better month than February?  Where were your laughter-filled moments this week?