Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Weigh-in no. 41: Decisions, decisions

So, this weigh-in is WAY late.  I took the photo and everything on Sunday, but just didn't get a chance to put it up that day....and then on Monday, I thought about it and then said, "Well, do I really want to?  Can't I just skip this week?  I don't have the time...." 

Needless to say, I found time this evening and thinking about all the stuff below, I decided I'd better get it posted.

So here goes:

weigh-in no. 41 (+ 0.6)


Starting weight:   327.0
Last week   :        269.2
This week:           269.8    
Gain of                 + 0.6
Total Loss          -  57.2 lbs 
 
I'm slacking.  I'll admit it.  

However, I refuse to beat myself up about it.  Part of my journey here as been about learning how to be gentle with myself, to find balance, and to do what is best for me.  It's negotiating what all that is that's the hard part.

Gaining weight is not what's best for me.  Not really exercising since I've returned to vacation (including missing swim class tonight!) is not what's best for me.  Letting my work and the need to devote all my time to finishing my dissertation is not balanced and is not what's best for me.

And yet, I am not making excuses by saying that I really need to figure out how to juggle these priorities for the next 3 months.  Come October (inshallah), I'll be back to blogging like a mad woman, I'll have time to spend hours (if I want) at the gym, and can really devote all a lot more of my time and energy to health and wellness.  But right now, I'm having to argue with myself to justify the 6-8 hours/week (a whole day's work!) going to the gym and/or working out.
 
But then the gym advocate in me says "but you don't justify the hours of sleep you need or the time you spend at your paid work or the time off you have committed to giving yourself....why do you need to justify the time to exercise?

I can lose weight without exercising.  I know that.  But I don't want to.  I know I eat better, feel better, and have more energy when I exercise.  These last two weeks, since I haven't been going to the gym as regularly, I've also noticed a substantial drop in my energy.  Whereas I came back from vacation no longer feeling fat, now I can feel the slobbishness returning with each day I sit at my desk.  My butt is numb with sitting and I'm frustrated and disgusted by it.

And so I'm trying to figure out how to negotiate these next 3 months.  Do I cut back a bit, slow down weight loss (but not stop entirely) to focus on the mental endurance race that will be taking place until 30 September?  Or do I keep up with my routine and hope I have enough time to get everything done?

Hmmm.......tough decisions......

Do you have any ideas on what I should do?

6 comments:

  1. This is a tough one! Only you can decide how you'll spend your time. Can you find a way to take that time that you "have committed to giving yourself" and combine it with health and wellness? Maybe that doesn't mean going to the gym, but a quick walk with someone special (or alone if you prefer it), a walking date around a shopping area or attraction, a bike ride, a hike, etc. It gets you active and allows you some time for yourself.

    That's all I got!

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  2. Hi Jayme! My name is Dawn and I'm an associate of your friend Suzanne here in the States. I've been following your blog for a few months and have been nothing but inspired by your journey. I have just started my journey to wellness 3 weeks ago and just wanted to let you know you were a part of what helped me get off my arse :)

    It sounds as though you know what is best for you. Which is to keep it moving with exercise. Perhaps tone it down some, but don't stop. I'm sitting on my sofa typing this grappling with not having enough time to really go to yoga class tonight because I have (fill in the numerous important things) to get done. So I'm compromising by working out at home but I'm still gonna do it. Sarah makes a good point above by trying to find quick compromises to keep moving. Don't stop! You've come to far! :)

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  3. Man, that's tough. I'm not one to give advice about a topic I'm only just learning about myself...but if it were me, my top priority would be about NOT backsliding. So, watching the food and being uber deliberate and making it a point to work out at least a few times a week as best I can. My sister is actually finishing her PhD now and managed to do P90X in the midst of it...no idea HOW and I definitely didn't inherit THAT drive. Just remember that you're the top priority and nothing else can be as good in your life as you want it to be if you're not feeling good about yourself. Oy...that sounded kind of like advice. Take it or leave it ;-) And, GOOD LUCK!

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  4. As I've learned, and was recently reiterated by a friend. I put my workouts into my planner first so there's no excuse. I must create the time or something else will. I chose to exercise in the morning, to get up, get moving and get it out of the way. Fully knowing that I'll feel more energized after and it's done for the day. You're doing amazing things!

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  5. I think you need to exercise 3 times a week so as to maintain the endurance and muscle tone that you have worked to develop. If one of those days is Saturday or Sunday - two days through the week and you have met your goal. Since you have so much going on and don't want to lapse in your weight loss I think this would be best. If you want to get in another day or two of working out - fine - but don't feel guilty - it's just time management. Schedule your exercise like you schedule appointments and other obligations.

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  6. I wouldn't say you're slacking - sometimes we have to put other priorities first. It's important to stay focused on being as healthy as possible, and at the moment, that might mean making sure that your efforts are consistent, even if they're a bit slower than you'd like. Working out a little less is better than trying to do too much and then having to make up for it with less sleep, etc.

    It sounds like you're working exhaustively on your school stuff, and I know how time-consuming that can be - I gained 50 pounds in two years of grad school just doing my MA ... I can't imagine a PhD! So to essentially maintain, I think, is nothing to wag a finger at. Maybe try reading standing up, or taking a 5-10 minute break every hour to do something physical. Even just a little walk around the house for a few minutes might perk you up!

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