Needless to say, I found time this evening and thinking about all the stuff below, I decided I'd better get it posted.
So here goes:
|weigh-in no. 41 (+ 0.6)|
Starting weight: 327.0Last week : 269.2
This week: 269.8
Gain of + 0.6
Total Loss - 57.2 lbs
I'm slacking. I'll admit it.
However, I refuse to beat myself up about it. Part of my journey here as been about learning how to be gentle with myself, to find balance, and to do what is best for me. It's negotiating what all that is that's the hard part.
Gaining weight is not what's best for me. Not really exercising since I've returned to vacation (including missing swim class tonight!) is not what's best for me. Letting my work and the need to devote all my time to finishing my dissertation is not balanced and is not what's best for me.
And yet, I am not making excuses by saying that I really need to figure out how to juggle these priorities for the next 3 months. Come October (inshallah), I'll be back to blogging like a mad woman, I'll have time to spend hours (if I want) at the gym, and can really devote
all a lot more of my time and energy to health and wellness. But right now, I'm having to argue with myself to justify the 6-8 hours/week (a whole day's work!) going to the gym and/or working out.
But then the gym advocate in me says "but you don't justify the hours of sleep you need or the time you spend at your paid work or the time off you have committed to giving yourself....why do you need to justify the time to exercise?
I can lose weight without exercising. I know that. But I don't want to. I know I eat better, feel better, and have more energy when I exercise. These last two weeks, since I haven't been going to the gym as regularly, I've also noticed a substantial drop in my energy. Whereas I came back from vacation no longer feeling fat, now I can feel the slobbishness returning with each day I sit at my desk. My butt is numb with sitting and I'm frustrated and disgusted by it.
And so I'm trying to figure out how to negotiate these next 3 months. Do I cut back a bit, slow down weight loss (but not stop entirely) to focus on the mental endurance race that will be taking place until 30 September? Or do I keep up with my routine and hope I have enough time to get everything done?
Do you have any ideas on what I should do?